121 Ways You Can Annoy Edward Cullen With >:D

1. Prance around the house singing Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the top of your lungs every morning.
2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.
3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD
5. Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school.

6. Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him.
7. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
8.Program his locker to—whenever he opens it to sing (LOUDLY) YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW! And repeat. Over and over and over.
9. Tell him it was Jacob's idea.
10. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.

11. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he's stupid when he won't answer your question.
12. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.
13. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony.
14. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul.
15. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.

16. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only plays Lollipop –unedited of course. (D: THE HORROR, Link to video: Link OMGZERS UNEDITED This would be better to show Eddie!) Make sure he can't turn it off or get it replaced.
17. Replace his ring tone with 'Outta my head' by Ashlee Simpson. Make sure he can't change it.
18. Color on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker.
19. Refuse to replace them.
20. Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween.

21. Get offended when he refuses.
22. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
23. Constantly whisper in his ear "Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!" (HP REFERENCE)
24. Ask him how his bath with Harry was (HP REFERENCE.).
25. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.

26. Key his car. 'Jacob and Edward = LURVE'
27. Get him on that show 'intervention'. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
28. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
29. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.
30. Call him a liar when he says no.

31. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak.
32. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
33. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
34. Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn.
35. Make him watch the twilight movie.

36. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.
37. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
38. Train the dog to follow him everywhere. P.S. Make sure he doesn't eat it.
39. Ask him why he's not as hot as Robert Pattinson.
40. Ask him if he's a virgin.

41. When he says yes, take a picture of him and tape it to the 40 year old virgin movie poster. then add the number 1 before 40 :)))))
42. Make him watch Hairspray with you. Ask him why he's not as hot as Zac Efron.
43. When he says that he is, ask him why he wasn't the star of the singing high school people.
44. Tape porn to his walls.
45. Make sure Bella sees it.

46. Nail his CD'S to the ceiling along with his Stereo.
47. Refuse to take them down.
48. Tell him Jacob thinks he's a sex god.
49. Tell him Jane thinks he's better than a sex god.
50. Start singing 'Paper cut' around him. Constantly.

51. Tell him that Paul imprinted on him.
52. Glue pictures of Jacob all over his walls.
53. Write "I [heart] Leah Clearwater" all over his face in permanent marker. Don't let him wash it off.
54. Follow him around concentrating really hard on extremely dirty things.
55. Take his pulse and call 911 when you 'discover' he doesn't have any.

56. When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"
57. Summon an arsenal of Gay men to hit on him constantly.
58. Make a lifelike Bella dummy (with Bella audio) and throw it into a fire.
59. Give him a divorce attorney card and say, "Just in case."
60. Bake him a birthday cake with 107 candles and make frequent jokes about him being "over the hill"

61. Whenever he gets mad at you for annoying him so much, turn to the nearest person and go,"Don't worry, its just his time of the month."
62. Volunteer him for a blood drive.
63. ((even tho this won't work for Jasper and Emmet)) Tell him you know his secret and that you are one too, then he'll ask what secret, tell him he is a virgin.
64. Ask him what Hogwarts was like and why he didn't just suck Vod's bottom.
65. Force him to watch the 40-Year-Old Virgin with you. Send him accusational glares at random throughout the film.

66. Paint his piano neon pink. Refuse to buy a new one.
67. Concoct the perfect fantasy of you and Jacob is a tent with candles, very romantic setting. Go near Edward and play out the whole thing but when it gets R rated picture yourself as Bella.
68. Lock his phone after you set Me So Horny by Two Live Crew as the ring tone and then call him over and over and over again in public. (for those of you that don't know the song, there's awful loud moaning sounds while they chant me so horny over and over again.)
69. tell him that if he wants to compete with a dog, he has to wear a dog collar.
70. Get a shock collar with sequins on it and have Emmett put it on Edward. Give Jacob the remote.

71. Tell him Alice saw that if he wanted to blend in with humans, he had to wear matching pink liquid eyeliner and nail polish.
72. Paint his Vanquish Pepto Bismol pink.
73. Every time he walks near you jump in front of the nearest car and scream "Save me Edward!"
74. Follow him around concentrating really hard on songs from shows such as Barney and The Wiggles
75. Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.

76.Tell Aro that Edward would like to set up a ball room dancing class with him and the rest of the volturi.
78. Dye his hair blue and give him round black sunglasses and threaten to hide Bella if he doesn't wear them to school|
79. Blindfold him and take him to a tanning salon.
80. Jump out of corners and proceed to beating him with large planks of wood every ten minutes

81.Sit in his room and stare at him for hours.
82.When he demands why you're staring at him tell him that you're not leaving until he falls asleep.
83.When he tells you he can't sleep, threaten that Santa won't come if he stays awake.
84. Spray cheese into his mouth and force him to swallow it, all the while yelling, "WHAT'S WRONG EDWARD, DON'T YOU LIKE THE CHEEEEEEEESE?!

85. Make him a shirt that says "I Like Humans - I Don't Eat Them". Force him to wear it.
86. Make him drive you to La Push so you can jump back and forth on the boundary line screaming "Vampire Land!" "Werewolf Land!" "Vampire Land!" etc
87. Make him watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Mouth the word "Cedward!" in his general direction.
88. Paint his Volvo pink and write “I love Jacob” all over it
89. Sing "It’s a Small World" over and over in your head and follow him around
90. Give his number to Jessica and tell her, he’s interested

91.Ask him about Bella’s eighteenth birthday party
92. Just think of the color black when he's around so he thinks he can't read your mind either.
93. Take every picture of him and draw fangs on them
94. Watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and cry hysterically screaming "No Edward!" when Cedric dies.
95. Refer to him as "Eddie".

96. Prank call him saying you have kidnapped Bella and will only accept his volvo as ransom.
97. Ask him where he buys his contact lenses. Daily. For about, ooh, a year.
98. Eye him suspiciously every time he walks past, gripping a crucifix and throwing strings of garlic around your neck.
99. Sing 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' in your head continually, over and over again, he'll go insane in less then three hours guaranteed
100. Show him this topic in this forum - also fanfic, the 'What if Edward was gay?' topic, and all the Twilight Movie Cast threads where people bash Rob.

101. Come to school wearing dark robes, red/black contacts, and white makeup. Go up to Edward. Claim to be from the Volturi, and ask him where Bella is.
102. Install a whoopee cushion on his black leather sofa and his piano chair too.
103. Get Carlisle to have "The Talk" with him.
104. Torch his meadow.
105. Offer to put mountain lions on the endangered species list.

106. Run around the school with flyers that say "Save the Mountain Lion!"
107. Set the banner on Bella's cellphone to I love Jacob.
108. Do the same thing to his.
109. Say, "Oh you and Bella looked so cute at the movies yesterday" and when he says that they never went to the movies say, "Oh, but I'm sure it was Bella, and she was all over that other guy."

110. Have sweaty werewolves make a dogpile on bella. Push the reaking Bella into Edward's arms.
111. Tell him Darth Vader is his father
112. Run around the school shouting, 'EDWARD CULLEN IS A VIRGIN'
113. Make Bella president of the La Push Cliff Diving Society
114. Give the President the job of towelling down all those half-naked, dripping wet La Push boys as they come out of the water... or give them the job of towelling HER down!
115. Randomly run up with a stake yelling "Die, fiend!"

116. Superglue Bella's window shut.
117. In front of Nessie, say aren't you glad you didn't kill the little brat.
118. Remind him that Jacob and Nessie are eventually going to...well you know.
119. Say, "wow, you lost your virginity at 107 and your daughter is going to lose hers at 7...to the guy who was in love with your wife
120: Go up to him and say "Humans are friends, not food." Continue to think this throughout biology class.
121: Purposely slice your finger open from a piece of paper then wave it in his face and squeal, "EDDY! KISS IT BE!"

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